Booze talk

I have come to an almost shocking alcohol-related realisation, which has prompted me to act with more determination than a simple 'it's good for my health' could ever do. This is it:

1. Alcohol makes me act like a twat
2. Alcohol makes me poor - what a twat

Basically my findings were conclusive. Acute twatness. Twatly squared. Twatosity.

The case studies:

Money -

I tend to go out most weeks and if I don't go out I will drink, like drunk drink, at least once a week so I used a calculator and worked out that on average I realistically spend, give or take, £30 a week on the good stuff. That comes to a badonking £1560 a year. I found a round the world travel ticket for £1200. I could be in the Bahamas but instead I am a twat.

General twat-like behaviour -

I'm not about to repeat my mistakes across the internet waves for all to read and chortle and point, so instead let us take a look inside. How many times have you woken the day after a heavy night and had to apologise to everyone you know? Or have lay under the covers hoping to emerge in a Cormac McCarthy novel? Or, horror horror, thought 'who the HELL is that in my bed'? If you are thinking 'no, not me. None of those things rings true' then you are a rare non-twat amongst (although you are a liiiiiittle bit too self satisfied for my liking).

So there you have it. A big old 'what the bloody hell on a Sunday dressed in palms leaves and a bra!?' I am putting my foot down now - not in a straight edged, quitting kind of way but in a, ever heard of moderation you big loony, kind of a way. Who's with me??

Image by boreme